Logging Off, Leaning In: Trading Platforms for Presence

Last week, I made a decision that’s been a long time coming. A decision I didn’t make in frustration or for attention—but from stillness, conviction, and a growing desire to live a life that doesn’t just talk about freedom in Christ, but actually walks it.

I’ve been transitioning into a new season with the Lord—one marked not by output or content creation, but by stillness. Presence. Silence. Sitting in the secret place without a to-do list. No devotional to finish. No blog post to format. Just me and Jesus. And let me tell you… it’s been beautiful, but also incredibly hard.

My mind is noisy. I am easily distracted. I have to pause and ask God to take my thoughts captive approximately 199-200 times per hour. (I counted.)

But He keeps meeting me there.

This year has been marked by one major theme in my walk with God: idolatry. Not the golden calf kind, but the sneakier kind—the kind that hides behind “good” things. Like holy desires. Ministry. Discipline. Even healing.

And that’s where the Lord started to reveal something deeper: the difference between holy desire and hurried striving.

Holy desire says, “God, I long for this—but not more than I long for You.”

Hurried striving says, “If I just do enough, maybe You’ll give it to me.”

I realized I had taken things God had placed in my heart—marriage, motherhood, ministry—and subtly twisted them into demands instead of desires surrendered at His feet.

I’ve laid down a lot—people, habits, sin cycles—but recently God showed me I hadn’t just been idolizing outcomes… I’d been idolizing control. And underneath that control? A wound of guilt. A deeply rooted belief that I still needed to earnmy restoration.

That if I fasted hard enough… Prayed long enough… Wrote vulnerably enough… Shared boldly enough… Then maybe I could tip the scales. Make up for lost time. Apologize with my performance.

But the gospel doesn’t require penance. It requires surrender.

Since middle school, I’ve been conditioned to strive for approval. Attention. Acceptance. Validation. And that conditioning followed me into adulthood—even now, in what is arguably the most emotionally healed era of my life.

One of the most toxic outlets of that striving? Social media.

Likes. Comments. Shares. Praise. Comparison. That pull to post the right picture and wait for the dopamine of “You look so good” and “Wow, you’re glowing.”

And while none of those affirmations are wrong in and of themselves, the Lord showed me this week: Amber, you're not living freely if you're still waiting to be told you're worthy.

Scripture says:

“Cease striving and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10
“The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” – Lamentations 3:25
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4

God never said the desires were wrong. But He is calling me to be still long enough to let Him form me before He fulfills them.

So here’s what’s happening:

I’m stepping away. Fully. From Facebook and Instagram.

Not in protest. Not in frustration. But in obedience.

I’m tired of proving. Tired of performing. Tired of pretending that every post is just me being “real” when what I’m really doing is fishing for someone to remind me I matter.

God has called me to write. That hasn’t changed. But He has convicted me to stop marketing my ministry. To stop managing my visibility like a brand. To stop packaging my passion in hopes of a bigger reach.

Because passion submitted becomes powerful. But passion unfiltered becomes idolatry.

So, I will continue to write. I will continue to publish my blog through Substack. I will continue to share what the Lord places on my heart.

But I will not be chasing reach. I will not be creating content. I will not be posting to perform.

So if you are one of the many women who have reached out to me personally in the past few months and shared your story or testimony—and told me how much my writing has allowed you to feel seen, understood, and redirected—I ask that you continue to follow along by subscribing to my Substack blog. It’s the only place my writing will be accessible moving forward.

And if you’ve been quietly reading from the shadows, watching from a distance, and finding pieces of your story hidden in mine, I welcome you too. I pray you continue to witness how the Lord works in my messy, emotional, deeply devoted, and beautifully transformed life. Subscribe, follow along, and let’s keep walking this road—together, with Jesus leading the way.

And if the Lord nudges you to share it? Then you get to help carry that story forward. You be the reach. I’ll be the vessel.

I’m not quitting. I’m going deeper. And I’m choosing discipline over dopamine. Presence over performance. Intimacy over influence.

If we never cross digital paths again, may you know this: God is writing a story in my life that I cannot wait to share—not for attention, but for His glory.

See you on Substack.

Wishing you well,
Amber